Let me preface this by saying I was that mom. Or I wasn’t that mom. However you want to classify my kind. You get me. The one that took her newborn to restaurants when he was 2 days old. The one that never asked one single person to wash their hands when they held the 6lb bundle. Yeah, over here, that’s me. I may have even picked up some cheerios off the floor and said, meh it’s still good, while stuffing them in the snack cup. As they got older, I threw drawings away, schoolwork, things they’d made—after sifting through and picking out my faves. Sentimental was certainly not my middle name. Let’s just say that.
Honestly, when Kelton started kindergarten I didn’t even cry. I was happy. I had a new freedom from 8-3 every day! Fast forward to today, and now Micah is in preschool 5 days a week 8:30-3. Oh the freedom!! How glorious it’s been! But, last week something happened. Micah said he didn’t want to go to school Monday. Wait, what?!?? Something stirred in me. Something I’ll credit to the Holy Spirit, but it literally changed my heart. In the same week I was offered a freelance graphic design job that may be “full-time-ish”. I haven’t worked since January 2009. Yes. 8 years of SAHM bliss.
When that sweet baby came to me and looked in my eyes with his big blues and said: mommy, can I stay home with you today? I didn’t hesitate. I said, “YES! We’ll have so much fun! We can go to the duck ponds, and ride your bike, and…” Now, this may all sound normal to you. But, previously I would’ve been a bit disappointed in losing my freedom. Not anymore. My patience has held tight. My emotions have run high. But, since he uttered those sweet little words that day I haven’t waivered on wanting to be with my kids every minute. We had the best day, just me and him. Just like the old days. Where are those days? Where did they go?
Trite, cliche, whatever you want to call it…but yes, those days are numbered for those of you with littles. I will have a 4th grader and kindergartener come August. 7 months from now. And, yes, I am getting sentimental and emotional.
I went and picked Kelton up at 11:20 today for no reason. Just so we could hang out. Hang out, we did. And it was also one of the best days ever. So please just remember, the days are messy and the nights are long, but the days are short and the years are shorter. I love my new heart for my kids. Don’t misunderstand me, I always loved being home with them, but never truly feel I cherished it until now. Until a voice whispered to me: remember they won’t always live here and they won’t always want to stay home. My eyes have been opened to the love they bring to me when they love me so fiercely and unconditionally. Through the bickering and the spills, the whining and screaming. The love, the sentiments, the joy. It’s there. It always was. It was just waiting to be whispered into my ear.